The Second Lesson

Illuminati Bar (still!)

Last night, after writing the post about the Navarre region, my left foot became even worse. I could only hobble around and I was in so much pain.

Lida was already going to sleep in with another friend of hers who had joined us for a few days because of soreness from the long day, and she was going to take a bus from Los Arcos to Logrono instead of walking the 29 km.

This morning, I had a choice. I could either sleep in, find a doctor, check to see if my foot was infected, take a bus to Logrono and meet Lisa there, or I could walk with Lisa at 6 am and grit my teeth through the pain.

I'm a stubborn person who gets hellbent on finishing what I start and doing it to the best of my ability. I aim for perfect, and I'll be damned if I'm not going to get it. I'm also not one to be comfortable with letting pain hold me back. I believe that I can conquer anything, and a little pain in my left foot shouldn't hold me back.

I was also terrified that the doctor would tell me that it was infected and that my camino would be over.

So what did I decide?

Well, since this is The Second Lesson, you should have probably guessed that I chose to let it go.

I'll be frank and direct--there were tears. It hurt to say that I was going to skip a piece of the Road. I didn't want to feel like a failure.

But I'm not a failure, as Fabian (Lida's friend, a Swiss woman), Lida, and Lisa confirmed. The most important thing is to take care of myself. I can count plenty of instances where I let academics and extracurriculars drive my health to terrible levels where I eventually get sick--and then try to work harder once I'm sick. But sometimes, the most important key to being successful in my pursuits is to care for myself.

This is also the point in the Road where I have confirmed that my goal is not to walk every kilometer of the 776 to Santiago. It never was, although it's the only physical medium through which I can express the journey I have undertaken. As such, I have not failed in taking a bus for 30 of these kilometers.

With regards to my foot, a doctor saw me for free (Spanish healthcare is interesting, but it helps when you're a pilgrim and they have Catholic guilt), cared for a blisterish thing on the bottom of my foot and told me that because I had walked 36 km on a blister, it had pushed into my foot, and was messing with the nerves and muscles. He cut the blister off and cleaned it (Thank you, Fabian, for nearly passing out in an effort to sit there with me as my moral support), and told me it will be a day or two before I can walk again as long as I treat it well over the next days. I'm airing them now, and keeping them clean.

Hopefully I will be back on the Road tomorrow. But if not, I will take a bus to the next location, knowing that my health comes first, and that I can still be successful even if I do not walk every kilometer of this journey.

And, herein was the Second Lesson of the Road.